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Dec '10

101 Ways to Overcome Shyness

After releasing my new eBook I wanted to compile a list of advice for overcoming shyness.

Shyness can hold us back in many areas of our life. Overcoming our fears, and our anxieties while building courage frees us to live the kind of social life we want. The following list contains 101 ways to overcome shyness.

Use Your Mind

  1. Stop thinking so logically it only gets in your way
  2. Change social pain to social pleasure by feeling good while being social
  3. Visualize your success
  4. Squash negative thoughts immediately
  5. Think in confident ways
  6. Always mentally congratulate yourself for taking any action
  7. Create confident habits
  8. Analyze and learn from your shyness
  9. Interrupt shy thinking patterns
  10. Get therapy to overcome past traumas
  11. Drop your negative social beliefs
  12. Drop any limiting beliefs you have about yourself
  13. Like yourself, focus only on what’s great about you
  14. Stop judging yourself
  15. Realize no one is watching you
  16. Accept your fears, there’s nothing wrong with you
  17. Breathe deeply to relax yourself
  18. Understand where your fear comes from
  19. Understand its often from our evolution
  20. Realize there is no such thing as failure as long as you try
  21. Clear your mind of all thoughts
  22. Live completely in the present moment
  23. Reprogram your subconscious until you are convinced you are confident
  24. Meditate
  25. Build Your Courage

  26. Learn building confidence is like training a muscle
  27. Write a list of all your fears
  28. Take baby steps in conquering your small fears
  29. Or… Tackle your biggest fears head on
  30. Set goals in writing
  31. Work towards them relentlessly
  32. Accept no excuses
  33. Respect yourself
  34. Stand up for yourself
  35. Create mental anchors of confidence
  36. Gain knowledge about your fears
  37. Gain experience in dealing with them
  38. Use overwhelming force to destroy them
  39. Take SOME action every time you feel ANY fear
  40. Feel the fear but do it anyway
  41. Improve your social skills

  42. Strengthen your voice
  43. Speak with confidence
  44. Stand taller (don’t look at the ground)
  45. Use your eyes to communicate
  46. Move slowly and deliberately
  47. Relax your shoulders
  48. Learn how to tell a good story
  49. Really listen to others when they speak
  50. Be cheerful
  51. Get out of your head and into the moment
  52. Smile often
  53. Bring a positive energy to your interactions
  54. Add value to others
  55. Be congruent with who you are
  56. Vibe with others
  57. Improve your sense of humor
  58. Practice personal development in all areas
  59. Connect with people who share your values
  60. Have fun when being social
  61. Motivate Yourself

  62. Realize you will die
  63. Imagine your life without changing 10 years from now
  64. Imagine your life 10 years from now when you can’t even remember your shyness
  65. Look at all the areas your shyness is holding you back
  66. Think how much more full of life you can be once you overcome it
  67. Strive for complete social freedom
  68. Get inspired… this is your only life… it’s yours to create… create it now.
  69. Decide you want to live a book worthy life that can inspire others
  70. As you progress appreciate how far you’ve come
  71. Never give up
  72. Perform These Action

  73. Make strong eye contact with others
  74. Smile at strangers
  75. Talk to at least 1 stranger a day
  76. Take a martial arts class
  77. Sincerely compliment someone every day
  78. Ask people deep questions
  79. Go hand gliding
  80. Always communicate honestly with others
  81. Play truth or dare and always pick dare
  82. Avoid yes or no answers to questions, expand
  83. Go cliff jumping
  84. Be the party in social gatherings
  85. Host a party at your house
  86. Ask someone out
  87. Dance every chance you get, dance every chance you get
  88. Go sky diving
  89. Be spontaneous
  90. Act silly
  91. Meet friends with similar goals and challenge each other
  92. Accept all challenges
  93. Never turn down a social get together
  94. Read my book
  95. Do social experiments such as giving free hugs
  96. Or wearing stupid outfits in public
  97. Having high five contests
  98. Singing in front of others
  99. Freezing in public (alone or with friends) until people notice
  100. Role play with strangers (pretend to be a salesman)
  101. Go on random adventures
  102. Go bungee jumping
  103. Stop watching TV or playing video games and GO OUT
  104. Expand your world by gaining new perspectives
  105. Travel the world

For more information on overcoming shyness and breaking out of your shell, and explanations of how exactly accomplish most of these 101 things check out my eBook: How to Break Out of Your Shell

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  • Andrzej

    Great list! Making it could be a year lasting new years resolution 😉

  • Devin Licastro

    Glad you liked it. good idea! take it one little step at a time every day, and the constant effort added up will amount to huge change over the course of a year!

  • how to overcome shyness

    Do you need help in overcoming shyness? If you suffer from shyness, you probably often wish that your shyness would instantly go away, never to return. For some people, being shy can be a small problem. For others, shyness can be life crippling.