Travel To Grow

I’m always really fascinated with the stark differences between my western culture and the culture of my Chinese friends. One area where the differences are huge is how young adults relate to their parents, and the power the parents hold over their children’s lives.

In the west its common for parents to have a great deal of control over their kids lives – while they are young – but as they mature they certainly get more freedom… and once the kids aren’t kids anymore (maybe around 17-20) they pretty much have the freedom to decide what to do with their lives. Certainly when you’re my age (23) your parents don’t have control over whether you go out late at night, or who you date, or what you do with your free time… But here in small-town China it is the case… and the control goes even further.

This article is about the small town type of people that I live with. In larger cities like Beijing the mindsets are totally different and a lot less traditional so not all of this will apply.

The power!

At our school we have 3 Chinese Teacher Assistants (TA’s) and I heard a story from each of them about their parents control over them. Keep in mind they are all around the age 23-24.

After working together with our TA’s for about 4 months and inviting them to come out with us often, we finally convinced them to eat dinner and go to the bar with us one night. The night was a lot of fun, we had tons of laughs played some drinking games, and really all became better friends. The next day however our TA Echo told us she might not be able to repeat that kind of night with us again… because she had stayed out too late and got in big trouble from her parents. Again… she is around 23 years old.

Our other TA named Sukie told me she doesn’t have any desire to meet boys because she really doesn’t want to get a boyfriend. When I asked her why not she told me she doesn’t want a boyfriend, because then her parents will force her to get married to him.

And similar to the last case, my TA Phoebe told me she doesn’t want to ever get married because she doesn’t want to have kids. When I asked her why she doesn’t just marry a man who also doesn’t want to have kids she said it was impossible, because her parents want her to have kids… and her husband’s parents would want him to have kids… and they would simply have no choice.

That last one was too much for me to accept… Imagine bringing a child into this world… that you don’t even want… because your parents want you to have children. I can’t fathom it… and on top of that… imagine being a parent and telling your daughter who you know doesn’t want kids that she has to do it!

When I questioned Phoebe more about this and asked her why she doesn’t just do what she wants since it’s her life… and not her parents life… she told me it would be terribly selfish of her to simply do what she wanted instead of following her parent’s wishes. She would feel guilty about it and her family would look down upon her selfishness.

If you ask me… trying to control the lives of your adult children for your own amusement is the obvious selfish act.

When speaking with my TA’s about these things it really seems to me that doing your own thing doesn’t seem like an option. In fact, the idea of rebelling against their parent’s wishes doesn’t even occur to them. The mindset is… of course I have to listen to them… they are my parents, what kind of a person would I be if I didn’t? It’s my responsibility to my family to do what I’m told. The idea that their parents had their own lives to live… and therefore shouldn’t need to control their children’s lives as well doesn’t come up.

To us from a foreign culture the amount of control the parents have over their children’s lives seems ridiculous and unbelievable… and even more so how easily the children accept the control placed on them. But to them it’s completely normal and acceptable. It made me wonder where the drastic differences in ideas come from.

Where does it come from here in China?

I think this level of acceptance for the control parents have over their children here in small town China comes from a few sources.

Firstly parents tend to train their children into doing whatever they are told throughout life by making all the important decisions for their children as they grow. They try to make their kids life easy by taking responsibility for all their decisions with the mentality that they are old and wise and therefore know what’s best for them.

The children find it easy to allow their parents to make decisions for them because as they grow they are so bogged down with school work they have no time to come up with their own ideas, or to rebel against their parents decisions if they disagree with them. We have heard the government deliberately increases the schoolwork children get during the ages where children develop their own ideas and crave to take control over their own lives, therefore putting so much pressure on the children to complete their studies they are unable to deviate from the accepted path during this time.

In addition while in school the students don’t get many creative assignments that force them to come up with new ideas by themselves. After watching the movie avatar with my friend Angela she couldn’t fathom how American film makers could come up with such an interesting and creative world like in the movie. She then told me how in school they had never once… not even once in all their years of schooling, had the chance to write a story of their own. She was very surprised to know that through my years at school I had to write around 10 stories of my own. The evidence of this lack of creativity is very clear in the classroom when we ask high level English students to come up with their own stories. The stories are almost always very boring and repetitive… Even encouraging the kids to tell a story of their own imaginary super hero adventures is dull and uneventful.

It really just seems that in China new ideas are often shunned upon. It’s much more important for a member of society to do what he is told and to follow traditions than it is for them to think of new ways to do things or to come up with their own individual beliefs. (We even got in lots of trouble from our Chinese friend when we tried to modify a traditional Chinese drinking game to make it more fun!)

An interesting note is that the words for question and problem are the same in Chinese… so one might think… if you don’t ask any questions you won’t have any problems.

I believe that in China people are valued for being the same, fitting in, doing what their told, accepting traditions and keeping their ideas to themselves.

Where does it come from in the west?

While there are a lot more variations and exceptions to the norm in the west… in general I think the lesser control parents have over their children’s lives comes from a few sources as well.

In western cultures parents encourage their kids to live their own lives. Allowing your parents to make all your decisions is looked down upon and socially unaccepted. If you always do what your mommy tells you to do you will be made fun of and encouraged to live your own life. We are taught to make our own decisions, and see the results of them. We are often encouraged to make our own mistakes and learn from them. We generally get to choose our own path in life, like what we want to study in school.

While in school we are taught to think for ourselves and be creative. From a young age we are encouraged to write stories, share ideas, create new things, draw and to ask lots of questions.

Having new ideas are encouraged we are often taught there are no wrong answers as long as we are thinking. Coming up with a new solution to an old problem is rewarded and encouraged. We are taught to debate and to see both sides of a situation.

Generally people are valued for being unique and special. People see being average as the same as being boring. Countless high-school life movies show the ‘normal’ kids who have nothing special about them and don’t stand out in any way as the least popular and least liked. We strive for something more, to be great, to be exceptional and to be unique.

So Who’s Right?

Is there a right or wrong between our cultures? Which one is best for society, which one is best for the individual?

It’s easy for me with my western mentalities to think that our way of doing things is correct and the Chinese way is foolish… but it’s important to see the good and bad in both ways of living.

There are a lot of benefits to the Chinese culture and the way Chinese parents control their children. For starters children are instilled with a strong sense of responsibility towards their families. The kids will respect their parents, respect their decisions and respect authority in general.

In the west there is often a serious lack of respect for elders or authority in kids. Perhaps because children are encouraged to think for themselves they quickly assume they know what’s best and think they always know more than the adults who try to control them. There are tons of clashes between parents and kids in the west that just don’t happen the same way here.

In China the children are also encouraged to work hard and are encouraged to fit the model of the ideal productive member of society whereas in the west we often let kids make their own path and do their own thing which can lead to them being lazy and unproductive.

Freedom to pursue what you want out of life

In the end I think the most important thing to consider is that everyone in life deserves to be able to pursue their own happiness… to know what they want and to try to achieve it… and when kids are controlled so thoroughly by their parents that they don’t even want to risk getting a boyfriend in fear that their parents will force them to marry him then they aren’t free to try and pursue the happiness they want.

While there are a lot of good things about the small town traditional minded Chinese culture, the fact that a person isn’t free to do what they feel is best for themselves makes me think that it is holding them back from living the types of lives they want and deserve.

While there are some problems with how kids and parents relate to each other in the west, I think the freedom and independence children are encouraged to pursue will help them learn and grow as people to become successful productive adults in the future.

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I’m a believer that no matter what country your from, no matter who you are, no matter your past or your current situation… there’s one thing we all want from life… we all just want to be happy.

My definition of the word happiness can also include being fulfilled, being proud of who you are, feeling good about life, feeling successful ect.

Happiness comes in many forms but I think there’s one thing that will make all people from all walks of life with all different interests happy, no matter what your definition of happiness is or what happiness means to you.

…And that one thing is freedom.

Having freedom in all areas of your life enables you to pursue your own happiness unhindered… letting you work on any area of your life without obstacles… and ensures you can experience and strive towards the things that make you happy.

If you have freedom to do what you want… then all you need to do is identify what makes you happy and then do it. Life becomes simple, and being happy is effortless.

Financial Freedom

I think financial freedom is incredibly important for happiness. If your struggling to pay the bills at a 9-5 it takes a lot more effort to be happy than if you’re off riding elephants through Thailand for example.

Financial freedom gives you the incredible ability to seek out the countless amazing experiences our world has to offer and dive into them.

Imagine deciding you want to learn how to hand craft guitars in India… or spend a while traversing the beautiful landscape of New Zealand, or experience what it’s like to climb the Himalaya Mountains. Maybe you’re not into travel but you’d like to see what it’s like to drive an F1 race car, or take a sky diving course, or you simply like eating in fancy restaurants every night of the week. Financial freedom gives you that choice to do what you want when you want.

Its true money doesn’t make you happy… but the freedom money offers lets you pursue the things that do make you happy without trouble.

To achieve financial freedom its best to create multiple sources of income for yourself that don’t require you to trade the hours of your life away for a fixed amount of money. Strive to set your life up in a way that allows you to work as much or as little as you want, when you want, and that gives you an amount of income proportional to the amount of work you do. Try to have the type of work that allows you to make money even while you’re not working. (Like making cash from book sales)

Health Freedom

Keeping in good health and good physical shape gives you other kinds of freedoms. Staying fit will allow you to do all the athletic things like go hiking, try mountain climbing, run marathons, do martial arts or any other physical activity you enjoy.

Having a fit body will also likely improve your self esteem giving you confidence when interacting with other people freeing you to act without self consciousness. It might also open up your dating options too, freeing you to find the perfect relationship partner.

To achieve freedom in the area of health you obviously just need to get in shape and then maintain it. There are countless guides on healthy eating and exercise out there so look one up if your struggling!

Personal Freedom

Personal freedom mainly means freedom from fear. Whatever it is you want to go for in life you can do it without letting your personal fears get in the way and stop you. If you want to quit your 9-5 and start your own business you’ll need to be able to push your fears out of the way in order to take the leap.

This can also be expanded to having freedom from personal issues that get in the way during social interactions. If you want to enrich your life with loving friends and deep relationships having the freedom to be confident and to be social will go a long way.

Personal freedom is about having your life together, being confident, making intelligent choices, building strong personal relationship skills, and being free of personal issues.

I think the best way to improve your personal freedom is through exposure to situations that challenge you to grow. If you afraid to talk to strangers then work on it little by little… If your social skills suck then get out there and practice. These things don’t happen on their own… but all you need to make progress is a little effort over a period of time. And for the record… travelling is the best way to get these comfort zone expanding experiences!

Final Thoughts

Happiness comes from a balance of many areas of life including financial abundance, strong health, meaningful relationships, and more… but the important thing in life is to attain the freedom to be able to pursue and work on your happiness in all these areas of life unhindered.

Work on achieving freedom and the rest will be effortless.

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A Day in the Party Life of an English Teacher in China

Sitting in bed with a massive hangover and no desire to move for the rest of the day I figured this would be a perfect time to write about a day in the party life of an English Teacher here in China.

Nearly all of the English teachers I’ve met here in China have a few things in common. They are pretty young, pretty adventurous, they love to party often and they love to party hard.

Here’s what we do on typical party days here in China.

During the Day

For me a party day usually starts with an enthusiastic knock on the door and the voice of my crazy South African friend yelling “Devin! Wake the fuck up! It’s beer-o-clock brother!” At this point depending on what happened the night before I usually chug as much water as I can, try to explain to my friend I’m too hung over to start drinking again this early, but then eventually cave in and cure my hangover with a fresh cold beer.

After waking up our other friend Alex in the same fashion then going for some delicious Muslim food we try to make the most out of the few awesome spots of nature we have around this part of China. We’ll usually stock up on a backpack (or two) full of beers and snacks and then either take our bikes to go climb a small mountain (if we’re feeling energetic) and stop for about 5 beer breaks along the way before getting pretty drunk at the top… or we’ll take a taxi to a remote location in a bamboo forest to go camping for the night, or most commonly we’ll head to the big nearby lake for some swimming and fun.

At the lake we’ll call up some other friends and spend the day swimming, listening to music, playing hacky-sack, playing guitar, and of course doing a lot of drinking. Often we’ll climb up to the water tower and jump off about 6 meters into the water which is a lot of fun. If we have the rest of the day off we sometimes go to the gazebo on the other side of the lake and start a fire on it to cook some food for ourselves.

During the Evening

After some fun in the sun it’s time to get down to business. With about 12 foreigners in the area there’s quite often a lot of dinners, either for people’s birthdays or for people returning back home or some other special occasion. Our favorite place to go for this is a really nice hotpot place with good food and ridiculously cheap 1RMB (15 cent) beers. These dinners are a lot of fun because it gets all the foreigners from the different nearby towns together for some good times and laughs.

Depending on the timing either before or after the dinner we’ll do some pre-drinking at one of our houses. We put on some tunes and crack open some double deer beers. These beers are unbelievable because they only cost 20rmb ($3) for a 12 pack, but then out of those 12 beers you get about 5 ‘winners’ which entitle you to a free beer. (We all yell ‘winner!’ at the top of our lungs every time this happens) From these 5 winning beers we usually get 2-3 more winning beers. (Around 8 free beers from a 12 pack) Then when you add in the fact you can return the bottles for 2 more beers (1 of which might be a winner) it’s possible to get about 11 free beers from our 12 pack. We have no idea how the company makes any money… we’ve been drinking for months for almost free!

During the Night

After this depending on what time it is we’ll head to the bar. We’ll meet up with anyone who wants to come out for the night, usually head to our favorite bar called ‘Sculpting and Times’ play some drinking games with cards or some Foozeball and have some laughs.

Next we’ll head to the club. Clubs in China can be stupidly expensive (like 45 RMB for a beer compared to the usual 2-5 RMB) but luckily we are all drunk before we arrive and we have some strategies for spending as little money as possible in the clubs.

One of my favorite things about Chinese clubs is that even when they have a dress code as a foreigner I can get away with wearing anything I want. I often go to the club in flip flops a tee-shirt and bathing shorts (because that’s what we had at the lake) and people are always amped about it. A Chinese club never has a line, there’s never trouble with bouncers, and there’s a really friendly vibe.

The key to spending little-to-no money in a Chinese club is to have a beer in your hands. The locals are really friendly and they love to drink with foreigners so if you look interested and smile at them they’ll definitely wave you over to say cheers and drink with you.  Often they’ll encourage you to chug the remainder of your beer with them then since they were the ones who encouraged you to finish your beer they’ll reward you with another one right away. The locals are so friendly it’s not hard to get all your beers for the night free this way. I’ve literally managed to go to the club 5-6 times without spending a cent.

To get this initial beer needed I sometimes sneak it in my shorts or my jacket in the winter… and sometimes I get caught. But the awesome thing is… the last time I got caught pulling out an outside beer the security dude politely explained to me I wasn’t allowed to bring beer in… took my half drank beer away and rewarded me with a fresh beer from the bar for free! It was so awesome!!

Some of my friends from around the world complain that Chinese clubs aren’t the same as the ones back home… but for me I like Chinese clubs much better than Canadian equivalents. There’s a lot more going on, there’s a much friendlier vibe, and I generally have so much more fun. Chinese clubs often have live performers too. There are almost always live singers and dancers, and sometimes there is even a stage with performers doing balancing acts, or kung fu routines, or gymnastics.

If you want to get away from the dance floor for a bit you can often walk up to any table of people and join in their drinking games. The most common games involve dice and a bit of strategy but I’ve learned so many other drinking games as well, some involving funny dance moves, some being a form of rock paper scissors but with a pretty girl, police officer and rapist… and some that I have no idea what’s going on.

It’s so much fun to be a foreigner in a Chinese club because we’re generally treated like a Rock Star. It’s fun to be able to just walk into a club with shorts and flip flops and immediately get given a free beer and invited onto the main center dance stage to rock out in front of everyone. I’ll often be pulled into the front of a massive Congo line or some other fun thing that makes the vibe of the club so much fun. Chinese girls are also incredibly into us foreigners at the club, and it’s not hard to find someone to dance with all night (sometimes 3 or 4 girls at once!). When I was single it wouldn’t be uncommon for me to leave with 5-6 numbers in a night.

After the club we’ll sometimes go for some late night barbeque food to put a delicious cap on a great night.

A Day in the Life

The small town of Aojiang where I live can be boring at times and it can feel like there’s nothing ever going on. But even in this place we managed to make our own fun and have some great times quite often. The relaxed hours and (relatively) high salary of an English Teacher allows us to do a lot of partying and still save most of our paycheck every month. I left out a few details of some of the crazier things we do and some of the things I just wouldn’t want to write about on my website, but if you’re interested in that you’ll just have to teach English in China and experience it for yourself!

If your thinking of becoming an English Teacher in China you’re in for a treat because you’ll have some good party times ahead~

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One of my favorite topics to delve into is the topic of energy. I think the topic of energy is by far one of the most important aspects of existence and also one of the least talked about and understood. We as people are just beginning to grasp some aspects of how the world’s energy can be manipulated and here in China the topic is far more common than back in the west.

What exactly am I talking about when I say energy?

It’s hard to give a single specific definition of energy because there are so many various practices and understandings of energy out there. In Scientific study energy exists in several forms such as heat, kinetic or mechanical energy, light, potential energy, and electrical energy. In quantum physics it’s thought that all matter at its most basic form is energy. Energy is also found in a lot of other practices in life with solid examples of its use.

Chinese Energy Practices

China seems to be the birthplace of studies into the body’s energy and its various uses. Here in China the energy I am talking about is called Chi (Qi) and can be found in many practices. This page is meant to offer a brief introduction to some of these practices so you can look into them further if they interest you.

Acupuncture

Acupuncture is an Ancient Chinese technique used to treat pain and illness in the body. The idea behind acupuncture is to use hair thin needles to stimulate various energy meridians throughout the body to remove energy blockages, help the energy flow and bring a balance to the bodies energy field. While acupuncture has been used for thousands of years in Asia it has just caught on and been accepted as an effective treatment for various illnesses by a large number of professionals here in the west.

Tai Chi

Tai Chi is another extremely popular practice of energy manipulation for health and overall well being here in China and is growing in popularity in western countries.  Tai chi can be seen as a sort of combination of Yoga and moving meditation and also bring with it a lot of health benefits for the practitioners. Here in China you can find people practicing Tai Chi in the park every morning.

Martial Arts

Oriental martial arts such as Kung fu and Karate focus heavily on using ones energy effectively while attacking or defending. The energy is also used to maintain health and well being and is explored in various meditation practices that coincide with the physical practices of the arts. There are also practices which involve using the body’s energy as an actual physical shield to block immense attacks. I saw a program on this practice on the discovery channel where martial art and energy manipulation experts allowed other professional athletes to attack their bodies with immense punches to the face or kicks to the groin using all their strength without even fazing the martial artists on the receiving end.

Qi Gong

Qigong is a very interesting form of energy manipulation whose sole purpose is to bring about healing and heath to the practitioner by manipulating, renewing and balancing the bodies energy. I have learned how to perform Qigong and have tried it from time to time with good results. After practicing it a few times I became much more in tune with my bodies energy and I found that the level that you can really feel it as you manipulate it and hold it in your hands would remove anyone’s doubt to its existence. I tried Qigong a few times when I was sick and it instantly made me feel a better. My favorite time to use it is if I am really tired and ready for bed but I have plans to go out later that night. 30 minutes of QiGong usually gets me feeling extremely energetic and pumped removing all my sleepiness.

Taoist sex practices

I’ve also recently been reading about ancient Chinese Taoist sex practices. Still practiced by people today the methods involve moving and channeling the sexual energy cultivated during intercourse away from just your genitals and throughout the entire body that can eventually result in multiple full body orgasms and other benefits… talk about a useful way to use energy!

Other Energy Practices

Meditation

Meditation is an eastern practice that has become much more popular and accepted in western countries over the past few years. While some meditation simply involves breathing and mind clearing practices others involve moving the bodies energy around through visualization. Today the health benefits of meditation are very well known and its practiced by many people of many different cultures.

Reiki

Among various other therapeutic skills my Aunt has been trained in Reiki energy healing so I have been able to learn a bit about this form of healing from her. Similar to QiGong Reiki healing is about manipulating the bodies energy, removing blockages, sending healing energy to damaged areas of the body. When receiving a Reiki massage one time I could feel a pressure pulsating back and forth on both sides of my body. I asked my Aunt if she was lightly touching me but showed me to my amazement that her hands were more than 4-5 inches away… and that she was consciously sending me energy from one side to another in exactly the way I had felt it.

Psi

Other uses of energy and the like can be grouped under the term Psi. This is a grouping of various things such as Telepathy, Clairvoyance, Energy shields, Telekinesis, Energy balls and stuff like that. These things can be seen as pretty farfetched for most people, but there are entire communities out there that practice them like this one here. Even doing a simple YouTube search on telekinesis can show you tons of videos of people who genuinely swear they actually learned some basic TK. Sure the videos could be faked and I’m sure some of them are, but perhaps its best to try the basic methods of some of these things yourself and see what kind of results you get before judging whether it is possible or not.

Water Crystals

Dr. Emoto Masaru published research and a book called Messages from Water detailing how water can be effected by energy. Volumes of water have thoughts, emotions and energy projected onto them and are then frozen to form water crystals. The amazing researched shows when water has positive feels and thoughts projected onto it like love and peace it forms into beautiful balanced crystals, whereas negative thoughts such as war or hatred freeze into erratic ugly designs. For a short introduction check out this video of the different steps Dr. Emoto went through to find out how energy effects water and some images of the crystals formed. Or this one if you just want to see the pictures.

These were just some of the various studies and practices involving energy that I know about. I’m sure there are many that I missed. With so much interest in the study and use of energy it’s hard not to see its potential benefits!

Everyday Energy

So maybe you don’t believe in any of the above practices. It’s fine to be skeptical as long as you remain open minded. Perhaps they are all based on ancient outdated philosophies and are supported by delusional people. I personally have experience with some of the above practices and felt the results myself (and I don’t think I’m delusional ) so I have a hard time not believing in them. But even if you don’t believe in these things or you’re just not interested in them, there are some things related to energy that are a little more practical and can have an influence on your everyday life.

It’s pretty evident that a person’s thoughts and energy is projected onto those around them. If you’re in a good mood and have positive energy people tend to react positively to you. And if you are in a bad mood giving off negative vibes people can’t help but react a little worse to you. No time in my life has this been as apparent to me as when meeting strangers in China the results that my mood makes are incredible.

Perhaps people pick up on it unconsciously, perhaps it’s in your body language or voice tone or maybe they can just feel certain vibes from you, but the results are definitely noticeable. If you’re a guy, for the clearest results on this try approaches a group of women you’ve never met while feeling joyous and alive compared to approaching them with a well trained fake smile. You’ll notice if you’re feeling amazing and having fun it’s nearly impossible to get blown out!

This knowledge is important when choosing who you hang out with as well. Maybe you’ve noticed before that when hanging around negative pessimistic people it can actually be a draining experience, while spending time with positive people can make you feel uplifted and great. This can have a huge impact on your life over the course of time.

Final Thoughts

Whether you believe in the various energy practices in today’s world or not is up to you but there is no denying the numerous results countless people from around the world get from them. I recommend picking one that you find most interesting and try it out yourself for a while to form your own opinions. And if you just want to have your mind blown a bit about our universe and the quantum physics of energy do a search for Dr. Quantum on Youtube.

The world of our thoughts and our body’s energy is vast and interesting and it’s been very cool to live here in China where the idea of it is so much more common. Even if you aren’t into any specific energy practice merely going about your day with a positive attitude projecting positive energy will surely enhance your daily interactions and your life!

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Unfortunately the other day there was a power surge in my appartment.

My laptop got hit and now when I turn it on it will boot up for a few seconds then automatically power off.

My laptop was plugged into a powerbar, but looking at it now the powerbar doesnt seem to have a fuse switch on it… So some damage must have occured.

I’ve had my laptop in the shop for about a week now and the current word is it will be fixed on Monday.

Anyway as soon as its fixed regular articles and blog posts will be coming out again, stay tuned!

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I had heard some horror stories of Chinese hospitals.

Unsanitary dirty conditions… Lines that stretch out the door… Refusal of service without medical insurance… Crazy procedures… Suffice to say… I knew that a Chinese hospital was one place you did NOT want to go. But nothing that I had heard prepared me for… my experience…

Nothing I had heard prepared me for…

…Just how awesome my visit was!

(you didn’t see that one coming)

First I’ll talk about my injury;

So… believe it or not… I had just finished work and was hanging out with my friend Alex doing a bit of pre-drinking before heading out with our TA’s (teacher assistants) for some barbeque and adventure when all of a sudden we heard a ferocious growl and we looked up to see the eyes of a lion staring at us! The lion charged into our room and violently pounced on my friend Alex. The lion was out of its mind with rage and clearly foaming at the mouth (we learned later it had rabies). I tackled the lion saving Alex from certain death and began beating it in the face with my bear hands. The lion managed to roll to the side throwing me off his body and knocking over a candle in the process setting the entire room into a blaze of fire. Smoke filled the room as the lion and I circled one another sizing each other up for the next attack. My friend Alex escaped from the room running for his life as the fire raged on filling the room with a smoky haze. I decided to attack first and hit the lion with a fierce blow between the eyes, it staggered backwards and slashed at me with his claws and growled viciously. The lion reared backwards and leaped at me with all its power. I lunged forward and clashed into the beast grappling it by its throat as we exchanged blow for blow to each other’s bodies and face with all our strength.

At that moment I heard a small cry at the doorway of the burning room and looked to my horror as I saw a tiny baby lying helplessly underneath a flaming overhead wooden beam. My fear worsened as the beam cracked and began to give way under the intense heat. With a final surge of strength I head-butted the lion knocking it staggering backwards. I dashed towards the helpless babies as the beams began to fall with the lion quickly regaining its sense and pursuing close on my tail. Just as the beams gave way and began their horrific crash towards the helpless child I leaped forward through the air with a heroic effort carefully snatching the baby into my arms and cradling it against the blow of my fall as the flaming beams crashed violently behind me pinning the pursing lion in their wreckage. I skidded to a stop against the outside wall and took a moment to look at the baby who at that moment broke into a wide smile and a comforting giggle.

I took the baby to safety and returned to the scene of the fire and walked up to the lion who lay in pain still thrashing about trying to free himself from the burning wreckage. I held the beasts gaze in my eyes and nodded solemnly to show the beast my respect for our battle. I grabbed its head in my hands and whispering comforting thoughts of the afterlife I swiftly broke its neck to end its horrible suffering.

After leaving the burning building I surveyed my injuries… Besides some minor scratches I was bleeding heavily from my middle finger on my left hand… I gave it some time but the blood wouldn’t stop flowing so I decided it was best to get it checked out at the nearby hospital.

Wow looking back on that story it’s a little intense… and almost unbelievable… wow good thing I would never lie to you right?

Alex and I wrapped my finger in a newly opened sock to stop the blood and jumped in a cab to the hospital which was only a 5 minute ride away. When we arrived I was pretty amazed there was basically no one there. We walked up to the desk and completed a 2 minute registration and paid 5 rmb (almost a dollar) for the registration fee. We then got pointed into a small room that had a family in it and a couple doctors. They told us to wait for a moment as they checked an x-ray of a man who had sustained a neck injury. It was a little strange to have 3-4 patients with different problems talking to the doctors in this kind of open room. I saw a man who looked in very rough shape lying in bed with a life sign monitor on him and another guy who had sustained a similar finger injury as me except his looked a lot more severe.

Alex and I waited for only about 10 minutes until the doctor was free and took me into the side room. He was quick to look at my finger clean off all the blood and patch it up. He seemed really overly concerned about the minor injury and asked a lot of questions. Strangely enough the doctor didn’t believe my story so I made up a lame one about opening a frozen beer bottle improperly and cutting myself on the broken glass from the bottles neck… He was satisfied with that story and continued.

After patching up my finger he informed me that I needed a shot in my arm and another shot in my butt to make sure I didn’t get any infections.  I really didn’t want a needle in my ass and I was sure it was pretty unnecessary… it’s not like I cut myself on a rusty piece of medal or something so I refused the shot. After that we went back into the open room and he brought and English translator to give me a bit of final advice for my finger. He gave me so much advice in such a concerned fashion for my little finger injury it was a little strange. He insisted I keep it out of the water and that I make sure I come back to get it looked at again and the bandages changed in 3 days. As he gave us the advice in English we looked around to see the entire room of about 25 people now staring at us intensely. I’m used to being stared at in China but it was weird to see all these sick or injured people with broken bones, and other severe injuries staring so intently at me with my tiny finger injury.

After the advice I thanked the doctor who asked me about 3 more times if I would reconsider the shot and made my way to the front. I braced myself when I handed in my receipt for the bill not knowing what the cost would be for the medical attention. I was totally amazed when the man asked for 14rmb (about $2)

I realized how awesome the entire process went… Including the cab ride it was only about 30 minutes total from when I had cut my finger and I was all patched up and ready to go for a grand total of 2 dollars. Imagine that kind of quick and cheap service in a western country!

Despite all the horror stories of Chinese hospitals I’ve heard I have to say they are a pretty cheap and efficient place to get patched up! I do hope I never have to test my experience in a Chinese hospital again in the future but I was really happy with how smoothly everything went!

Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go practice my lion fighting techniques to insure I don’t get injured at all next time!

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In China people can be extremely judgmental about people who are different. In big cities like Beijing and Shanghai it’s not much of an issue, but in almost all the rest of China being different can have pretty bad consequences. People who stand out for some reason, maybe they dye their hair funky colors or dress with a strange fashion, or have different ideas or act spontaneous and outgoing are often thought of as a little bit crazy, they can have trouble making friends, and generally are ridiculed by others.

My friend one had the perfect explanation for the reason behind this. He told me that in western countries people are generally valued for their differences… the things that make them unique, or special… while in China people are valued by their similarities, how well they fit the mold of the ideal citizen.

The above reasoning seem completely true from what I’ve seen, and it causes loads of problems for people who like to think outside the box, or live by their own rules or just simply want to be different.

Parents

In China parents have a massive amount of control over their children when compared to Western culture. In China it seems the idea is that one’s parents are experienced and wise and therefore should make the decisions for their children’s lives, where in Western society the idea is to allow kids to make their own decisions and make their own mistakes so they can learn to take care of themselves and become independent adults.

My friend Neil is a really nice guy. He’s a really caring person who would go out of his way to help someone and he’s completely in love and committed to his Chinese girlfriend. He’s even told me he will stay in China indefinitely as long as they are together. The only problem is, Neil is a foreigner… and therefore different, and his girlfriends parents won’t accept him. They consider their daughter dating Neil even worse than if she was dating a beggar and have told her this. They refuse to even meet him and completely forbid their daughter to be with him. The father even went far enough as to say he would kill himself if they didn’t break up. It’s a tragic situation for a really great and loving couple…

My Teaching Assistant Phoebe has another story. She told me how she doesn’t really want to get married because it would mean she would have to have children. I was a little confused by this and told her it’s okay to get married and NOT have children… just find a husband who also doesn’t want children. She sadly told me that was impossible because either her parents or her husband’s parents wouldn’t accept it… they would want them to have children and so they would have to. If they didn’t do what their parents wanted it would be incredibly selfish.

Peers

Although the younger generation is a little more open minded they still buy into the idea of fitting into a certain role and tend to ridicule anyone who is different. There has been a few times when I thought someone I had met was really interesting, only to hear other Chinese friends making fun of them for being crazy and talking about how they don’t like them. My friend Sukie who lived in Holland for a year has a difficult time accepting how judgmental people can be towards her for any differences. She misses the freedom and open-mindedness of Holland.

I find this desire to fit in can make people really boring. The lives of some of the people I know around me are slightly more uneventful than watching grass grow, yet when someone different does something interesting they are quick to judge them. The combination of trying to be normal and needing to save face in social situations can really remove the spontaneity and excitement from someone’s life turning it into a never ending predictable routine.

Exceptions to the rule

When I find a Chinese person who doesn’t fit the above descriptions it’s so refreshing and fun to hang out with them. Like my girlfriend Jen who is an awesomely outgoing, spontaneous and adventurous person who loves to be unique here in China.

Jen

We have a lot of fun together and I think she’s incredible and respect her so much for her uniqueness here in China.

I also want to point out here that this article is a generalization and China is full of tons of people with tons of different personalities, so please don’t take this description as fact! I have met a lot of unforgettable Chinese friends in my time here that are great people and are also a lot of fun.

Final thoughts

Living in a small town here in China with a lot of limited mindsets and some fairly judgmental people is a really good reminder to me that I don’t want to be a normal person. I can’t wait for my contract to be finished so I can move to Beijing and have a blast with big city people!

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Everyone knows that trying to communicate with people of another language can be a little difficult, but with a little patience, and by doing a few descriptive actions you can usually get your point across…

This is not the case in China.

Trying to communicate with strangers here in China is something special… and can introduce a whole new level of frustration you may not have known was possible

It’s definitely a powerful lesson in patience.

A Country Without Charades

I consider myself to be pretty damn good at charades. Anytime I’ve played with the family back home I do pretty well, people guess my actions quite quickly because I really get into them and make them obvious. It makes sense that if you… for example… want to buy something that you don’t know the name of… that a few descriptive actions would be able to help you find it.

Unfortunately the majority of Chinese people are really bad at charades and most attempts usually result in blank stares or confused expressions.

Even simple to model things such as doing a wiping face action when you want a ‘napkin’ can get you strange offers of water or gum or merely a “I don’t understand”

Last week when I was trying to buy dish soap I approached one of the super market staff and said “Sorry I don’t speak Chinese but I would like to buy…” Then did the actions for washing the dishes and emphasized pouring loads of soap on it while saying “this thing” pointing to the imaginary soap bottle. I was brought to cutlery, dish scrubbers, and laundry detergent before they figured out I wanted the dish soap.

The lady was very friendly and helpful though!

I Don’t Understand… No Really…. I Really Don’t

All of us foreigners have been in a situation where a Chinese person has been trying to tell us something, and we tell them “we don’t understand” (In Chinese) and instead of finding a new way to say it or demonstrate it they just keep saying it over and over… They’ll say it slower… they’ll say it louder, they’ll say each word really really carefully… and no matter how many times you tell them you don’t understand they won’t change their method.

The other day on the bus a Chinese man was trying to ask my friend Darian if he would open the window. Darian doesn’t speak a word of Chinese except “ting bu dong” meaning I don’t understand. The man asked Darian literally 6 times to open the window and after every time Darian would say “ting bu dong” not once did he point at the window or do any sort of motion to open it which would have been so easy to understand.

There has been countless times when people have been asking us something that is very simple to act-out but will make no effort to help us understand but to repeat the phrase in Chinese over and over.

The Banana Conversation

Next is an excerpt from my daily life that I want to share due to how funny it is now and how extremely frustrating it was at the time.

The conversation is all stuff I know how to say really well in Chinese because it’s quite easy… and I confirmed after that I was saying everything properly… but that apparently didn’t help.

* Devin is looking for the meat market but can’t find it, but he knows it’s close by… he walks up to a man at a fruit stand to ask for directions in Chinese*

Devin: “Excuse me, sorry to bother you, I want to buy some beef, or some chicken, or some pork… but im not sure where to go”

Man: “What!?”

Devin: “I’d like to buy some beef or some chicken or some pork, do you know where the market is?”

Man: “Oh here… here’s some bananas”

Devin: “no…. no…. I don’t want bananas… I want to buy meat… meat…. meat….”

Man: “What kind of fruit do you want? Look I have lots of fruit here”

Devin: “………………………………………….”

*Devin decides it’s okay to look like an idiot just to insure he helps this man understand him*

Devin: “No… not fruit… I want to buy beef, beef, beef like:”

*devin goes MOOOOOOO and looks like a cow*

Devin:“Or i want pork, pork, pork”

*devin pulls up his nose and oinks like a pig*

Devin:“Or I want chicken, chicken, chicken”

*Devin bocks like a chicken and flaps his wings*

Devin:“Where? Where? Where? Can I buy? Where Can I go?

Man: “HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA”

Devin: “………………………………………………..”

Man: “Here…. here’s some bananas”

I almost flipped out.

Like honestly… I clearly acted out every animal, and said everything 3 times… If I wanted the damn bananas I would POINT to them!!!!

Oh China.

Just Weird

Other times when you communicate with Chinese people, you just get some weird results. For example… While shopping I’ll ask the cashier ‘how their day was’ or say ‘how about this beautiful weather?’ In Chinese and they will just laugh at me and say “haha how about this weather” or “haha the foreigner wants to know how my day was.” Then they will just hand me my groceries without answering the question.

Asking directions is also an impossible task. Even when the people understand you they will often just point at what seems like a random direction and ramble really fast about something. We’ll often find out after more searching that what we were looking for was not even close to where they pointed.

Overall when you open your mouth to say something in Chinese to a stranger you never know what to expect, and sometimes it can be quite discouraging to bother talking to strangers at all… and other times it’s just really entertaining.

Generation Differences

One thing I’ve really noticed is how I get extremely better results when I talk to younger strangers rather than older ones. After my banana conversation with the fruit stand owner I asked a young 20 or so year old woman the same questions and she immediately pointed me in the right direction. The strange blocks in communication like lack of charade interpreting abilities definitely grow depending on the age of the person. The most helpful strangers I’ve ever met in China have always been around the ages of 15-25 who will usually go out of their way to try to understand and help me. The troubles in communication with older people is definitely just how we were brought up in such different worlds, while the younger generation has grown up in a more western kind of culture.

A Growth Experience

After spending so long communicating in China, my friends and I have agreed that once we return back to our respective countries we will have no problem being the happiest, and friendliest person ever when it comes to communicating with strangers. We will definitely have a ‘Zen’ level of patience after surviving our attempts at communicating in China.

Or… at the very least… our charades skill will be through the roof!

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Hold yourself to the advice in this article and you will completely change your life forever.

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In the world of personal development there’s always a new method to try or a new idea to pursue or a new mindset to adopt to achieve better results in some area of your life. The problem is these short ‘solutions’ often get people initially pumped up to make some sort of change, but if the results don’t come quickly a person’s motivation may fade and no real change takes place.

Real change happens when instead of trying out temporary changes, you instead adopt habits that last with you for life.

The following list is comprised of 10 timeless habits that when adopted can insure massive positive changes in all areas of your life. Each specific item listed below can have a huge impact on you when it is turned into a habit for daily living and working on all 10 will completely change your life forever.

1. Take 100% Responsibility for Your Life

More than anything else, taking full responsibility for your life can have massive changes. Once you decide that your happiness or lack of happiness is completely your responsibility and no one else’s you won’t accept less from yourself, you’ll be forced to find ways to improve your life and your happiness and you’ll drive yourself to change any area of your life you aren’t satisfied with.

Taking full responsibility for your life means completely dropping the victim attitude. It means realizing you are the creator of your life and therefore you must take full control. You’ll no longer be able to blame your parents or your environment or society or even bad luck for any negative results you get in life. If there’s something you lack in life, you won’t be able to point to others as the reason why, you’ll instead be forced to ask yourself why it’s missing and how you can achieve it.

You’ll begin to ask yourself the right questions in life. If there was ever a time before when you said to yourself “why is this happening to me? It’s so unfair.” You’ll instead have to say “This is happening, it’s my responsibility, what can I do to make the best out of it?”

Taking responsibility allows you to look at your life and know the results are based on your own efforts. This acceptance makes it easy to begin making changes.

2. Positive Thinking

Positive thinking has a few different aspects to it.

Firstly it’s about adopting an optimistic mindset – seeing the brighter side of things. People who think happy thoughts are generally happier people, while negative mindset never helped anyone become happy. With a positive outlook you’ll also attract other positive people. People like happy people and the encounters you have with others are always much more pleasant when you are in a positive state of mind.

Secondly it’s about having a positive self image. If you’re constantly putting yourself down in your mind, barking at yourself about your shortcomings, calling yourself stupid or lazy or ugly all you manage to do is bring yourself down and further reinforce these beliefs into yourself.  Thinking positively about yourself means becoming your own best friend, complimenting yourself, focusing on what’s good about you and building your own confidence. This increased confidence will give you the courage tackle new challenges bravely and reap the rewards they present. Making a habit of saying things like “I’m not sure how to do this yet, but I’m sure I can figure it out” rather than “I’m too stupid to do this” will have a massive effect in countless ways over the years.

Finally it’s about the law of attraction and all that goes with that. Habitual positive ways of thinking turn into real world positive results. Believing is Seeing so your mind will find real evidence to support any beliefs you hold about the world or yourself or your abilities. Make sure they are positive ones.

Thinking positively like so many things is a skill that needs to be developed and practiced until it becomes a habit. Squash negative or self deprecating or pessimistic thoughts the second they begin to take shape in your mind and replace them with something useful. Positive thinking will definitely cause positive change in all areas of your life.

3. Get Completely Clear about What you Want in Life

American Author Mark twain once said:

“I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is I can’t find anybody who can tell me what they want”

It sounds quite obvious that the first step to getting what you want out of life is to know what you want, but the truth is most people (myself included) have a really hard time deciding exactly what it is they do want.

When you know what you want to have or experience in life you have solid direction. You can set goals to achieve these things and make constant progression into achieving them. You can keep yourself on track and easily measure your results.

Without knowing what you want you can find yourself running in circles trying to plan your future or spinning your wheels and getting nowhere when you achieve a goal you thought you wanted only to figure out it wasn’t what you truly desired. Even worse it can prevent you from making any plans for improvement at all.

Sitting down and writing out an imaginary scenario of your perfect future (as if anything was possible) is a fun and simple way to see what kind of things you should be pursuing and what you really want out of life. From here you can follow any of the countless programs out there for properly setting and achieving your goals. The important part is to have a clear direction.

The act of making a vision board with cool things you want to attain or experience can help tremendously in accomplishing them.  With a vision board you can see all your main goals in front of you in an inspiring way, which helps to keep you focused and motivated, and also allows you to check them off your list easily.

For more great information on goal setting and getting clear on what you want check out The Power of Clarity by Steve Pavlina.

4. Get Into Learning

One of the biggest problems with being forced to go to school every day for so many years of our childhood is that it makes us hate the idea of learning. After spending so much of our precious childhood years in school it’s no wonder learning anything new seems like such a chore to most people.

Learning shouldn’t be painful though and it shouldn’t seem like hard work. Get yourself back into learning and discover that it can be a fun and rewarding experience. Learning something interesting feels good and gives you something to share with others.

I’m always amazed on we live in a unique time in history where nearly all the worlds information can be accessed at the tip of our fingers though the internet. There’s been a few times in my life where I get obsessed with learning. The day I discovered the HowStuffWorks website I read for about 3 days straight because it felt good to learn about so many things that interested me.

Learning isn’t just about acquiring knowledge but it’s also awesome to build skills that interest you in your spare time. If your into technology download a new program and some tutorials and see what you can make with it. Take something you suck at (like cooking in my case) and take some time to practice and improve through the advice of others. You never know when a few days of learning can turn into an enjoyable new hobby or a new way to make money in the future.

Learning a little every day keeps your mind and skills fresh and turning this into a habit will have a massive impact on what you know and what you can do years down the road.

5. A Mindset of Constant Improvements

When talking about lifelong habits there aren’t many that are more valuable than developing a mindset of constant improvements. Cultivating a desire to constantly improve yourself slowly over time is one of the most valuable things you can ever do. When you want to make a change in your life it can be difficult to tackle it all at once, but with a mindset of constant improvements any area of your life you are struggling in will be dealt with eventually over time.

If you work on #3 to get clear about what you want in life and combine that will a mindset where you need to make constant improvements towards what you want to achieve it will be impossible not to get what you want in life as long as you never allow yourself to regress and move backwards.

This mindset will also keep you from becoming stagnant in your life situation. It does not allow for you to become trapped in an unhappy situation with no room for growth. It will force you to move on, to expand and to strive to become more than you currently are. This mindset will help you to constantly evolve as a person throughout the years.

It’s always difficult to tackle something on a lifelong scale, but as with any habit once it is engrained in your mind that this is how you want to live the mindset will be easy to maintain. In addition number 6 will be very valuable in keeping you on track with this mindset.

6. Reflecting on Your Life

It’s easy to set a bunch of personal development goals, then fast-forward a few years and realize you really didn’t make the progress you were hoping for. The reason for this is that personal development is such a gradual process and it can be hard to measure your progress as you go. It can be easy to get off track from what you wanted over time, and all the changes life can throw at us it’s no wonder we get distracted from our goals.

Keeping a journal or a blog or some other method of reflection on where you are at, where you are going and the progress your making along the way can completely keep you on track. While it’s easy to put things off with thoughts on how you can accomplish it next week or next month, if you constantly reflect on where you’re at this excuse will seem unacceptable as you’ll clearly have to acknowledge your lack of progress.

If you’re forced to look at your results on a weekly basis you’re more likely to stay motivated and keep yourself strictly on track with your goals because you know if you don’t you’re going to feel bad when you write about it during your reflection. Subsequently when you are on track and proudly doing well writing about your progress will keep you feeling good and positive as you go.

Reflection on your progress also helps you to see the progress you are making that you might otherwise not notice due to the gradual nature of change. Being able to look back at your situation and thoughts a few months ago can show you how much you’ve learned and improved since then. Keep this up over a few years and the massive progress you can make may astound you, and looking back on how far you’ve come will confidence to continue working on yourself for the future.

Besides just focusing on your goals, reflecting can help us face parts of our life we have been denying or encourage us to find new solutions to patterns of unhappiness we see throughout our lives. Developing a habit of reflection is key to understanding yourself and your path.

7. Saying “F you!” to Fear

If there’s one thing that holds people back more than anything else in life its fear. Fear prevents us from doing a lot of things and can seriously limit what we achieve and experience in life if we let it. I know firsthand that fear can be a powerful foe but I also know from experience with a bit of practice and determination you can kick fears ass and get on with what you want to do.

Like so many things learning to deal with fear can be likened to building up your muscles at the gym. At first little weights are difficult and little fears are scary but as you get better and better at tackling the little things and slowly increase you weight over time you’ll be lifting weights and doing things that used to seem completely impossible to you.

Next time you feel fear get excited… because you have found a new heavier weight to train with and improve your courage forever. Adopt the mindset that when you feel fear about doing something that you HAVE to do it… just to prove to yourself that you can and to build courage from it.

Start slow if you need to, but decide you’ll never let fear prevent you from doing what you want even if conquering those fears results in a difficult weight lifting process. You have a lifetime of fearful situations ahead of you, so you might as well start lifting those weights of courage now so when the fearful situations of the future arise they won’t even cause you to break a sweat.

8. Connecting with People

Sometimes I think that the only thing that really matters in life are the relationships and connections you form with other people.

No matter what your life situation is, if you have good people around you that you really connect with, you can have a joyful time, and without these human connections not a lot can make you happy.

Making habits of connecting with people on deep levels and truly listening to someone when you talk to them rather than just ‘talking at them’ can make all the difference in the relationships you form with people through life. Seeking out people with similar values and forming connections with them can fill your life with valuable friendships you cherish.

Put some effort into improving your social skills. Seek friendships and relationships that make you feel awesome and open yourself up to connecting with other people. Show people the real you, don’t hold back your personality or put on a fake mask for your social interactions. Tell people what you truly think, talk about deep things, share your true feelings with others… Be real, people will appreciate that you are authentic so much more.

9. Bring a little love into your life

What’s so funny about peace love and understanding?

It sounds a little strange, but being a little kinder to other people can have a big impact on your own happiness. Reacting to someone with anger or frustrating causes you to feel these emotions too while reacting with kindness keeps you in a positive mindset.

People also have a habit of mirroring the emotions projected onto them back to the one sending them. If you approach someone with a smile and a kind word they are far more likely to respond kindly to you than before.

Drop any prejudices you have against other people. Instead see the people of the world as one and think of people as individual cells in the greater body of earth where we all must work together to improve life for everyone. If you have disputes with people seek to understand their point of view before seeking to be understood.

Bring some love into your life as well. Feel a love and appreciation for yourself and have a love for all that you have to be grateful about. Spend more time showing your significant other how much you care for them with random loving acts. Send your parents a loving appreciative message. Tell your friends how awesome they are. Do something kind for a stranger. All this positive energy you’re passing around will come back to you and turning this into a habit will change your life filling your future with more love and happiness.

10. Travel

The final way to change your life forever is to make travelling a part of your life. I won’t go into the specific details about why you should travel and how it will change your life because this entire website is dedicated to that,  but if you need some convincing you should check out the first article in the 4 part ‘Why Travel’ series.

Final Thoughts

Real lasting change doesn’t come from a few individual actions but instead comes from forming lifelong habitual ways of being. Make a conscious effort to review these ideas frequently and adopt as many of them into your daily life as possible. Stick with it long enough and they will become ingrained habits that completely change your life forever.

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The Mountain

Looking up at the blue sky, surrounded by nature, sitting half way up a beautiful mountain, beer in hand, on a warm spring day here in China my friend and fellow English teacher Alex looked over at me and asked “Do you think you could ever go back to it man?”

“Go back to what?” I asked, feeling as if already knew the answer.

“To the normal life man… you know to the 9-5 job, and all that stuff.”

I smiled and thought about all the interesting times I had since I began travelling. “Not a chance man” I said, “I couldn’t do it.”

My other friend Darian, Alex and I then talked about how we want to avoid the normal life at all cost… how we want to travel the world, live apart from the usual system, create our own lives where we’re never stuck working long hours for someone else, how it’s our goal to never have a normal “career” and how messed up we think it is that everyone else seems to think this career is all that matters.

That day we had traveled to a nearby city of Wenzhou for some fun. After eating the most delicious pizza of our lives (a rarity in China) we headed out for a spontaneous adventure. We jumped on the first bus we saw with no idea as to our destination then jumped off when one of us exclaimed “Oh look a mountain, let’s climb it!” On our way to our mountain we saw some interesting things, passed through a cool old school village, and even trekked through an underground cave full of thousands of bananas. Sitting up on that mountain completely at peace with the world our whole decision to come to China seemed to make perfect sense.

A different life

We had all gone through for education in certain fields but after working in them for a short amount of time we realized we wanted something different and we set out to find it. Our lives as English Teachers aren’t exactly fantastic here in China… but they are pretty damn good. We only work an average of 21 hours a week, and we do get paid more than 5x that of the harder working locals… so it’s a big step up from the fairly low paying 9-5 job my formal education got me back home… and here we have the freedom, the adventure, the interesting experiences, the strange encounters, and the free time to experience it all.

I think one of the most important things about our positions here in China is that we never feel trapped. Working a 9-5 at home living paycheck to paycheck with bills to pay and loads of responsibilities can make you feel trapped in your life situation. It would be easy to get into a rut and see no way out. Here in China we own slightly more than what we brought in our backpacks, we have the free time to change our situation if we want, and the ability to pick up and move on if we need to… on top of that there’s a comfort in knowing that if worse comes to worse there’s always a home to return to.

I think the number 1 benefit to the life I have here is the free time I have. With only 21 hours of work a week, (nearly half that of a 9-5) I have tons of time to pursue other endeavors like learning guitar, working on starting a business, having fun, going to the gym, and writing about whatever’s on my mind through this website… At home with the 9-5 and the massive commute I was making my free time was seriously limited, and often the only thing I felt like spending it on was entertainment to make it all feel easier.

When it all comes to an end

Isn’t this all just a temporary dream though?… A fleeting adventure to experience while we are young?

I mean… sooner or later we will have to get serious. It will all be over, we will have to return home and start a normal life. This is just something people do for fun for a year or two while they are young right?

I have to admit I thought that when I first started out. I didn’t realize the opportunities that travel would present, and now that I’ve seen a few things, I know that if I truly don’t want to, I’ll never have to return to the life of a 9-5 again.

My friends Darian and Alex are great examples of this.

Darian who has been travelling for some time now recently bought a plot of land in Nicaragua and recently completed his design for the guest house he’s going to build on it after saving up a bit more money working here in China.

And Alex who has become nearly fluent in Chinese in the past 2 years here found out how affordable it is to open a bar here and how incredibly easy it is to introduce some simple foreign aspects to a Chinese bar and make it by far the most popular place to be. After saving up a little more money at this job he will open a bar, and will have no trouble turning it into a big money making success.

The interesting thing about both of their paths is that they don’t rely on years of education or years of hard work, there relatively easy to accomplish after saving a bit of money, there both potentially very profitable and expandable and they leave the owners free to work as much or as little on them as they want. The only requirement for starting these businesses is travel, a bit of money saving and some courage to start something different.

The 9-5 is the death of ambitions

To me, working the 9-5 results in the death of your life’s ambitions.

With the 9-5 mindset you are conditioned to slave away your time without direct reward for your actions, your generally forced to spend your life doing something you’d rather not be doing, you lose out on so much free time which seriously limits your ambitions and goals, and the toll of working a job you don’t like for a living can take a serious toll on your overall happiness.

Even if you manage to find a job you like, there still a serious lack of freedom, you still have to do it on someone else’s schedule, you still need to put in the long hours, and I’m sure there are still other things you would rather be doing with your life.

If you need more convincing that the usual 9-5 job is a terrible thing read Steve Pavlina’s masterfully written 3200 word article about why you should never get a job.

Ways to start

De-condition your mind that going to school, finding a career and working the 9-5 for years is the proper way to live. It may be the normal path, but it’s definitely not the best one, and the world is full of opportunities for people who look for something else.

Just do something different.

Do a couple month job on the oil rigs of Canada. Teach English overseas. Start a business you can run from your laptop. Go tree planting for a season and save some major cash. Working as a fruit picker in Australia and see how it goes.

Travel for free just to open yourself up to the world of opportunities out there. Check out WOOFING Worldwide Opportunities on Organic Farms) where you can work a few hours a day on a farm in nearly any country of the world in exchange for free food and shelter.  There are lots of different opportunities for free travel in exchange for a bit of work. The point is to just get out there, break free from the 9-5 do something different and then decide if the 9-5 is a world you can ever go back to.

My Path

While I’m still not sure what I want my path through the future to be, I know I won’t find it working behind a desk back in Canada. I’ll find it out here in the world, in one country or another, in one way or another, and I have a feeling I’ll have no regrets along the way.

I’m not sure where I’ll end up, or what I will do, but I kind of like it that way for now. I know what I want for the new future and it feels free, fresh and exciting to have a such a big blank space on my life’s canvas to paint whatever I want… and this free feeling is something I never had back in my 9-5.

For now I’ll just keep searching and continue to travel to grow.

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